A First
by LizTheBookNerd
Summary: She'll never really know the answer. The only thing she does know is that for the first time in ten years she truly smiled.  Sequel to Guilt but it's not neccessary to read that one.  Read and Review!


**A/N: So here we go with another one-shot :) My other one, Guilt, sorta goes with the ending of this one but its not like you have to know that story for this. It just gives you a little more background information. Though, I think that one turned out better than this one honestly, though I do kinda like the ending to this one...**

**disclaimer: Are these really needed anymore. I think fan-fiction should just automatically be said that we obviously don't own this or any of the characters!**

The feeling she used to get when she saw him, touched him, held him, kissed him...

It was all new to her. She was falling in love with Duncan. When Courtney first saw him, she never even gave a thought to dating him. It just sorta...happened. Not that she regretted it at the time she loved the feeling. She was always Miss Independent. Never needed anyone or anything to complete her. But then Miss Independent fell in love, and boy did things change. At first the idea scared her. She took charge to show that she was still in control so it wouldn't look like any guy made her weak. But after awhile she got used to the feeling and she didn't feel like she had to be as bossy. And strangely she liked feeling like she had another half. It was weird because they were nothing alike. Though at the same time they were, but in the less obvious ways.

But then it all changed. One day. One minute. One dreadful sentence spoken by Tyler. It broke her more then she'll ever admit. She was becoming head over heels in love with him and then he had to do that? She knew at times she could be a little unpleasant but nobody has the right to cheat. Anything would've been better. But then, the mention of his name, would put a frown on her face. She eventually cried so much that all she could do was stare.

She was never one to just put all of her trust and faith into someone. Then, the one time she does, she gets hurt. It's not like she never had breakups before. It's just that none of them were as bad. Maybe because this one was different.

At first, she refused to fall in love again. She didn't think she would be able to go through the pain again. Though as time went on, she healed more and more. Eventually, she wasn't as scared to take a risk. To take the chance of being heart broken.

As the years went on, she started dating again. She could just never find the right one now. For some reason that she can't even explain to herself she would just end up comparing them to Duncan. She really would think "Why am I doing this to myself? Why would I compare them to Duncan even though he caused me so much pain?" Though deep down inside she knew the answer to this question.

Before she knew it, ten years had passed since that Total Drama show. She kept in touch with Bridgette but that was about it. She was still single but a very sucessful business person. Though she didn't mind. It was probably for the best anyway. She knew if it was meant to be, that it would happen some way some how.

That day was just a normal day, so she thought. She had a day off from the office. Just relaxing from her life while she could. Then the phone ring. It was a recording. The recording that put a twist on her day. It was from Chris McLean. Did she ever think she would hear from him again? Yes, but to tell her there doing some sort of reunion special. She was never expecting this. Turns out, after all this time Gwen finally couldn't hold on. The call was announcing Gwen's death. She was shocked at first but when she kept listening she wasn't as much anymore. Turns out, Gwen committed suicide. She couldn't take the pain and regret she was feeling and finally let those feelings to take over.

All of the campers/castmates/contestants were invited to come. Though knowing Chris he would turn it into someway to make money and put it on TV for the rest of the world to see.

She knew she wouldn't go though. It would just be wrong. Funerals are to remember loved one and that was clearly not what she classified Gwen under. Plus, if Duncan was there, shed probably have a mental breakdown. Though knowing Chris he'll find something in the old contracts so everyone will have to end up going.

But at that moment, for some reason, Courtney felt...happy. Was it because one of the people who put her through so much heartache was gone, dead? She'll never really know the answer. The only thing she does know is that for the first time in ten years, she truly smiled.

**A/N: Gasp! I never saw that coming!...Oh wait I did! So, this actually turned out better than I thought. I just reread it after the first AN and I guess I do like it...strange. But I'm not the one who matters! I want you guys to like it and I hoped you did! I'm thinking about writing a one-shot on Duncan now relating to this whole thing that started with guilt. It only makes since. Plus I'm already starting to think of ideas for it hmmmm. So review please! Even if its one word ill take it. I even take flames so I know what I canwork on. And yes its short but I like one shots short because if I go to far they will start to make no sense...at all! But either way thanks for reading!**


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